No-Calorie Christmas Cookies

December 20, 2008 at 12:10 pm (Musings...)

From my sister, Heather… I like these rules 🙂

A little refresher course on cookies

 
 
1. If you eat a Christmas Cookie, fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.
 
2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.
 
3. If a friend comes over while you are making your Christmas Cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend’s first cookie is calories free, rule #1, yours is also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and being the friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free.
 
4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
 
5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas Cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.
 
6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones have 3 and Green ones have 5 – one calorie for each letter. Make more red ones!
 
7. If you eat cookies while watching “Miracle on 34th Street” these also have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel.
 
8. As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
 
9. Any cookies consumed from someone else’s plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate. We all know how calories like to CLING!
 

And finally…
10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed has no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. It’s a rule!
 
“Sounds good to me!!
 

 

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1 Comment

  1. libby said,

    Ok, seriously…I can now eat cookies guilt free! Thank you Momma O!

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