I Am A Queen

March 12, 2009 at 11:33 am (Multiple Sclerosis, Musings...)

This is a very personal blog entry for me to write… 

My appearance has always been important to me.  I use creams, lotions, potions;  I even botoxed a few times (didn’t work because of my MS) in an effort to fight the aging process. I keep my weight always within 25 pounds of my “happy” weight.  Right now I am the thinnest and fittest I have been in a long time.  But this summer I cannot wear a bathing suit.  I am struggling with this fact.

I have given myself Betaseron injections for nearly three years, on three specific sites on my body; my upper thighs, my stomach, and my butt.  The result of every-other-day injection on six sites on my body has resulted in the fatty tissue around each site to be gone.  No one told me this would be a side-effect!!  While you might say this is a GOOD thing… the consequence is that I have deep valleys at each site — and unless I become anorexic, these fatless valleys will remain.  They are very noticable and I hate the fact they are there!

I remembered India.Arie’s song “Video” — I’m not the average girl from your video  and I ain’t built like a supermodel but, I learned to love myself unconditionally Because I am a queen.

The Lord also gently reminded me this morning that my worth is not connected to my appearance.  I want my children to “arise and call me blessed.”  I want my husband to “praise me.”  I want to “surpass them all.”  (Proverbs 31)

Charm and deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."  Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30

I think I’ll schedule a hair appointment!  🙂

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3 Comments

  1. Sacha said,

    Thank you for sharing this Momma O! I can relate to the struggle with appearances…as most girls can. But this speaks to me alot. I am praying for you as you walk through this. God sees us not for our outward appearance. He looks at the heart! I love you!

  2. Danielle said,

    Yeah, we all struggle with that at one time or another, I think. Thanks for sharing your heart on this! And I love that song! 🙂

  3. Sister Esther said,

    I can relate to this Mel, my stretch marks from 5+ pregnancies, and my T in the front from vertical and horizontal C sections. Oh well, it’s what I have:0)

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