My New Reality

February 1, 2010 at 4:19 pm (Decorative Painting, Jewelry, Multiple Sclerosis, Musings...)

I’ve watched my Mom live with pain for the past 15 years.  I was  openly critical of her handling of her life ~~ too many drugs, too little counseling, not enough “suck it up” attitude,  on and on.  I apologized to her two weeks ago.  

The trigeminal neuralgia pain I am living with can, at times, be unbearable.  I understand overdosing.  I understand suicide.  I understand depression. 

I choose diversion ~~ bending wire, painting, music.  I choose heating a rice bag slightly and letting the warmth seep into my cheek.  I choose several different drug “cocktails” that surprise the pain and take some of it away for a while.  I choose prayer.  I choose Practicing the Presence of God. 

I don’t have any answers, just more questions.  I know this much, God has a plan for me, plans to prosper and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future.  I’m leaning on the “everlasting arm” of my Creator. 

As I look for diversions, my creative brain is on overload.  Here are a few of my latest projects.

Crackle project -- completed

Wire-shaped heart with 16" 3-strand beading.

Fun earrings... not too much "bling"

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2 Comments

  1. Danielle said,

    You create beauty out of your pain. Real and tangible! Spiritual and artistic.

  2. sister Esther said,

    I love the old rose colors in the painting melodye. You can almost touch old china or old tableclothes. Sorry you are having such a difficult year. A day, a breath at a time.

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