Empty Rooms

January 25, 2011 at 2:40 pm (Musings...)

Amanda left for school in 2000 and except for visits home, doesn’t live here anymore.  Brent left in May 2009.  Tess died on Sunday.  Now the house really seems empty.  Crabby Max (the cat) doesn’t count because he spends most of his time sleeping in cubby holes, corners and sun-spots.  He comes for a petting a few times a day, but otherwise I don’t see him.  Darling DannyO works long hours.

Tess' dish and toys...

I am going in circles in and out of my empty rooms — they are filled with memories.  I talked to Tess all day long ~~ I didn’t realize it until she was gone.   The answer IS NOT to get another animal, adopt a child, fill my schedule with more stuff.   I am a hermit by nature and I like my alone time.   The answer is to behave my way through this time in my life.  Probably by next week, I will be ready to move forward with joy.  I’ve got painting, sewing and jewelry projects that need to get done.  I’m going to give myself until the end of the week to grieve 24-7.   Then I’m going to paint, sew (wait until you see my newest ideas!), bend wire and string beads. 

Until then, I’m going to give myself permission to be sad.  Tess’ dish and toys will stay in view until I’m ready to put them away 😦

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2 Comments

  1. Heather Baker said,

    You will now have time to paint me a picture of my sheep. 😀 Well, maybe not the first thing you are anxious to do. I even have a space on my wall waiting. Well, no not really ….Love you!

  2. Becky said,

    I’m glad you’re allowing sad time. Take as long as you want/need. I still have Missy and Bandit’s dishes and favorite toys! Bill still has a teeth-hole old tshirt that Sasha chewed as a puppy. Some things just don’t leave the room…they ain’t junk. Prayers for your loss and healing.

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