Mind Over Matter – Moving Forward

November 1, 2011 at 2:38 pm (Multiple Sclerosis, Trigeminal Neuralgia)

I am going to speak directly to those who struggle with chronic illness in this blog. To those of you who find that merely going through life every day is overwhelming, I want to encourage you.

I understand.

If you’ve read my blog regularly or know me, you realize that I have multiple sclerosis and trigeminal neuralgia. I know what it is like to crawl out of bed every morning, not knowing if the pain in my head will begin once I shift and change the gravitation pull on my face.

Because I have spasticity, I am curled up into a little ball. I must carefully stretch each finger, toe, leg and arm, and then the really painful part, put my feet on the floor and stand up. Once I master that, I head to the bathroom… (a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do 🙂 ) Then I trudge down to the kitchen to brew a pot of coffee, eat a bowl of Frosted Flakes, and turn on Mike & Mike In The Morning on ESPN2. Before noon I have also usually had my devotions and exercised either on my Pilates machine or my elliptical.

I evaluate my pain level every day before I medicate. I need to “trick my system” so my body doesn’t expect the same doses every day. Sometimes I have to bring out the “big guns!” The day after I take my betaseron injection, I usually feel like I have the flu – adding insult to injury.

I tell you all of this not so you can pity me, but simply to state the facts of my life every day.

I also am very creative and productive throughout my day, with a few naps thrown in for good measure. Once my pain is (sometimes) treated, I usually do a bit of housework, dust, wash clothes, de-clutter. I am a mad de-clutterer, except when it comes to my shoes. I simply cannot get rid of any of them. I love them 🙂 .

Right now I am sewing a little wool coat, painting two pieces and at least every day move the beads around on my beading table in my art studio, braining out some designs.

My little purple coat -- ready for the polka-dot lining and beautiful black buttons


My rooster breadboard, in the beginning stages


My beading table -- it looks like chaos, but it is actually very ordered!


This long stretch velvet skirt is going to have a new life as a beautiful pocketbook -- I have already cut the seams apart, ready to cut out the pattern.

While I can no longer rehearse the choir, I can sing in the choir. I am helping to lead our sopranos (affectionately known as Minnie Mice) to victory. I can pound out notes and play keyboard for the praise band.

If I think too hard I just sit and weep. It is an act of my will to move through each day. I have learned, in 22 years of having multiple sclerosis, that if I consistently stay inside the circle of my ability, the circle gets smaller. I have diminished use of some of my skills just because of the natural progression of MS. I am working hard to move outside of my circle. I allow myself moments of despair (you can read some of my struggles further back in my blog) but try to not have days and days of despair.

I am so very blessed to have a darling hubby of 31 years who understands if, when he gets home from work, I am curled up, once again, in a ball, and I cannot manage supper. I also am fortunate in the fact that darling DannyO works hard so I do not have to go to work. My “job” is to take care of myself. I understand what a profound blessing that is!

Be encouraged. Take every day as it comes. Determine to put your “mind over matter” and work outside of your circle of pain and disabilities. You can do this! I have referenced in an earlier post “Much Afraid” in “Hinds’ Feet in High Places.” Although I am often much afraid, I am moving forward. I want people to see that I have a Higher Power moving and working in my life (more on that in another blog).

I am blessed. It will be “otay.”

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1 Comment

  1. Esther said,

    And it will be OTAY.

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