“Here Comes Everything I Need”

May 16, 2014 at 2:58 pm (Anniversaries, Musings...)

Fair warning… lots of pictures!!!  How can you celebrate 34 years without pictures!!

Happy 34th Anniversary to darling DannyO and me!

We were dating in this picture. No digital "do-overs!"

We were dating in this picture. No digital “do-overs!”

Wow!!  34 years!! That’s something to celebrate in this day and age.  We were married on a Friday night, May 16, 1980.  Our best friends, Buck and Mary, John and Janet stood in for us. My Grammy and Momma and Daddy came.  We spent our “honeymoon” on the Christian Diplomat bus, as we already had booked dates to sing Saturday night and Sunday.  Reverend Jenkins married us at a church in Ebensburg.  I won’t go into the details why we weren’t married at Pike, but let me just say, times were different than they are today 🙂

Danny, me, Momma and Daddy

Danny, me, Momma and Daddy

Me and Grammy

Me and Grammy

TBT-3

Just Married!

Just Married!

Danny worked in the coal mines and I worked at the Domestic Relations office in the courthouse.  We rented a tiny one-bedroom apartment on Margaret St in Ebensburg for $185.00 a month, including utilities!!  Our landlords, the Griffiths, became real friends to us. To get to their washer and our dryer (yes, they let us use their washing machine), I had to go outside and around to the basement.  Within a week, I was knocking on their door, (with their permission) walking through the connecting door to do laundry.  Often, I would hear Danny’s F-150 and knew he was home, but then I would hear the door to the Griffith’s house open.  I’d hear him playing with Misty, their miniature collie.  When supper was ready, I’d call down and he’d come up and we’d share a meal in our tiny kitchen.  We bought the kitchen table and chairs.  We were given the couch and end tables and coffee table.  The couch wasn’t in great shape so I bought a throw for it, which had to be adjusted each and every time someone sat on it.  We also had a black and white television, which, of course, didn’t have a remote!  The Griffiths had an extra bedroom set.  We cuddled on a borrowed bed.  I did purchase some beautiful yellow curtains for the kitchen.  When Danny worked 4-12 or hoot owl, I felt safe.

In love!!

In love!!

As I am writing this, memories are flooding back to me.  I won’t write them all down because this would be a novel, not a blog post.  Someday I will write the story of how we met. 🙂

We met in November 1979, so we were still learning about each other the day we got married.  I will tell you that we had some outside conflict the first year we were married.  We faced it head on together, giving each other strength, standing shoulder to shoulder.

Daddy and Amanda taking a wee nap.

Daddy and Amanda taking a wee nap.

Two years later, March 25, 1982 our precious daughter, Amanda, was born.  By then, we were living in a trailer on a piece of property across the road from my Mom and Dad.  The winter of 1982, Bobby Jo  moved the trailer across the road, up a 1/4 mile lane, turned it around in the back field and settled it on the two acres Dad and Mom so graciously gave to us (we actually paid them $1.00 so we wouldn’t have to pay inheritance tax).  Our ground was one big hill and the front of the trailer was cribbed up very high to level it.  It was warm and cozy and we settled in with our little family of three.

Amanda "helping" her Dad

Amanda “helping” her Dad

In 1984, we had enough money saved to start building our house.  Danny would work in the mines, come home, grab a bite to eat and walk 30 feet to the house.  Amanda loved to go over and “help” her Daddy.  On December 8, 1985, sweet baby Brent was born.  We moved into the house in 1986, although none of the trim work was done and we still walked on sub flooring.  But… it was ours and we were debt free.

Sweet baby Brent

Sweet baby Brent

Sweet Baby Brent

Sweet Baby Brent

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In 1987, Dan’s mine closed permanently.  Because we had no debt, he was able to attend Penn Tech in Pittsburgh.  He went to school four days a week, and worked for Jerry Varner Friday and Saturday.  He and Amanda studied at the kitchen table together.  I had to go back to work.  I began by working for Kelly Services — my paycheck was $144.00 a week – net!! Amanda was in school.   Janice watched Brent a few days a week.  Ann also watched them in the summer.  My Momma graciously watched them one day a week.  On Friday’s, after putting Amanda on the bus, Danny would head out to Varner’s with Brent in tow.  Brent had his big wheel and loved to ride the ramp between the two horse barns.  Brent called him “Jerdy Farmer.”

Probably taken at a concert.

Probably taken at a concert.

Taken at the Crown American Building opening

Taken at the Crown American Building opening

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Danny graduated in December 1989 with an associates degree in electronics.  By this time, I had been working at Crown American for two years.  He immediately found a job.  In December 1989, I had a pain behind my eye.  By February of 1990, my legs stopped working.  I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.

I will not go through the next 24 years in this post except to say that DannyO was my rock. We worked as a team parenting Amanda and Brent.  He held my hand when I was afraid, held my head when I was vomiting uncontrollably from vertigo.  He came home early from a fishing trip when I had a seizure and ended up at the bottom of our stairs in a puddle of urine.  Amanda found me — what a scary situation for her!

Back in the 1990’s, solumedrol was the main treatment for MS exacerbations.  They required a 7-day hospital stay and I had 3 to 4 treatments each year.  When I went to the Cleveland Clinic for more extensive testing, DannyO, without complaint, took personal days off to make the drive with me.

The kids visiting me in the hospital

The kids visiting me in the hospital

The Deetscreeks, Bud and Ernie (or “Bert and Ernie” as Brent called them) put the finishing touches on our home, including the hardwood flooring and the deck.

Fast forward to today.  I remember the year we bought each other the same anniversary card.  One year, we each forgot… and remembered a few days later on the same day!!

A "selfie"

A “selfie”

Has it been all fun and games??  No!  Have we every considered divorce?? No!  As I would often say, “murder, yes, divorce, no!”  We had some rough years while we were in our 30’s.  Looking back, we were so stressed, the kids were growing, I was sick, we had, it seemed, never enough money. But, back then, we could “float” checks.  That is why I still balance our checkbook to the penny!! When the balance hovers around $20.00, you’d better be sure you know exactly everything that has been debited from the account.  We pushed through, working to communicate, learning how to disagree without saying hurtful things.  We used to have knock-down, drag-out fights.  We’ve learned that some words, once spoken, are so hurtful that irrevocable damage is done.  We don’t say those words any more. There really is an art to fighting!!

:-D I love this picture!

😀 I love this picture!

Thanksgiving (I don't remember the year)

Thanksgiving (I don’t remember the year)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My sisters will tell you that my DannyO has made me laugh more.  I was the oldest, serious sister.  My children will tell you that their Dad is the hardest working person they know.  So much, that when he finally sits down in the recliner, he is out like a light within five minutes, remote in hand!!

At Kari and Brad's wedding

At Kari and Brad’s wedding

Me and Darling DannyO at Amanda's Wedding

Me and Darling DannyO at Amanda’s Wedding

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I fell in love with Daniel Gregory because he was funny, cute, drove a nice truck and treated me like I was his found treasure.  I now know that love, while real, wasn’t the sustaining love needed to live in the real world.

I love Danny now with every fiber of my being because he is the kindest, most faithful, hardest working person I know.  And he still loves me, with everything that goes along with loving me.  I love him more every day.  I also have learned to say those words early and often each day.  Saying “I love you” goes great with breakfast, typed as a text, said when he is so weary at the end of a long day, but he has to go out into the dark and cold on yet another call.

At The beach!!

At The beach!!

Amanda's Wedding 2012

Amanda’s Wedding

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Beach!!

The Beach!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Above all, I know that there is one person in this whole universe who has my back, is willing to stand shoulder to shoulder with me and, when necessary, pick me up and carry me.

The card I got for him this year says…

“I love looking for you in a crowded place, spotting you at last, catching your eye, seeing you smile, watching you walk my way… In that moment, every other thought drops away.”

“All I’m thinking is, here he is.  Here comes everything I need.”

Christmas party 2013

Christmas party 2013

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2 Comments

  1. Lillace Christianson said,

    Precious. Just precious.

  2. Tammy Sral said,

    What a beautiful love story!

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