I am Fearless!! (Becoming the Child I Never Was)

January 24, 2016 at 1:32 pm (mixed media) ()

I spent yesterday in bed with a trigeminal and occipital neuralgia attack.  The storm blew through, leaving over a foot of snow.  DannyO spent the day plowing.  I spent it making bargains with God.  It didn’t work and as usual, things had to run their course.  Today I am medicated to the gills but am vertical, not horizontal so that is good.

I am taking an art course on line for the first time, Life Book 2016. Every week there is a new lesson.  This week our lesson was by Annie Hamman called “Fearless Art.”  She works with her four-year-old daughter Tallulah on some pieces, allowing Tallulah to paint on a piece she has already worked on and then finishing it, without covering up Tallulah’s marks.

She encouraged us to let our children work on the piece with us.  Since my “children” are grown and in different states and I have no grandchildren, I followed the directions that used me as the child!

The problem is, I always colored in the lines, even as a small child.  I was not fearless, but very cautious.  I liked (and still do) knowing the outcome before I started.  So… this was indeed a stretch, trying to become the child I never was.  Add my usual anxiety and OCD and there is a strong possibility this exercise will be another *FAIL*    Hmmmm…

Fearless Art-4

I sketched a loose interpretation of my face (hey, it’s my art, I can dream… 🙂  )

The second issue is that Annie paints completely different than I do — using bold colors as her undertones.  I always choose a “safe” route — skin-like tones, shadowing and highlighting as expected.  But, since I’m trying to grow as an artist, I chose to use the colors she used — phthalo blues and greens — very bold!!

I painted using the colors she suggested and thought to myself, “What a mess!! And I’m supposed to mess this up even more???”  My anxiety was high.  It was hard to even leave the painting in this state before becoming a child again.

Fearless Art-1

So now comes the even harder part…  How to I think like the child I never was??  Hmmm… so I got out pink and purple because those were (and still are) my favorite colors.  I drew and stenciled but stayed safe.  Then I thought, if I were four, how would I draw a mouth??  And… I drew a smiley face right over my painted mouth.  Yikes!!

Fearless Art-2

I am almost glad I couldn’t paint yesterday because I probably would have tried and covered up most of the “mess.”  But since I had to wait until today…

Fearless Art-5

I left most of the underneath mess visible, only adding lines where I felt I needed to make things understandable.  You can still see the smiley face underneath the lips.  I had to make wild curly hair instead of the soft waves I had originally planned because young “Melodye” used a lot of squiggly lines.

Fearless Art-3

I am very very very proud of this piece!!  I actually love her!!  I feel like a door opened – and I will be able to use what I learned again.  Will this be my “new normal” way of painting??  Probably not, but, Annie, if a woman with OCD and anxiety can do this, you can be called a miracle worker!!

 

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1 Comment

  1. Laura (PA Pict) said,

    You need a great job of overcoming your inhibitions and worries and really exploring and the piece is wonderful as a result. Well done!

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